


Coming Up Roses

by rrllao



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, Pre-Femslash, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Crush, as in a healthy family relationship btwn mom and daughter okay, how many gardening and flower metaphors can i fit in one fic, not medically or scientifically accurate, overdramatic teenagers, stealth crossover at one point if you squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rrllao/pseuds/rrllao
Summary: Honoka struggles with her springtime of youth.
Relationships: Kousaka Honoka & Sonoda Umi, Kousaka Honoka/Minami Kotori
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	1. Grandiflora

Honoka’s listening to what Eli Ayase is saying to her, but most of it is going in one ear and out the other. She’s asking about homework and teachers and whatever, anyways; it’s nothing she hasn’t heard thirty times this week already. It’s easier to watch the way Eli’s lips form around her name, to look at the way her eyebrows have scrunched together in cool frustration. She’s wearing lip gloss and light catches on it at the corner of her lips. Honoka is entranced.

The conversation leaves her feeling funny, just a little more off-balance than usual. Her already disastrous attention span is fully non-existent for the rest of the day’s classes. Thinking about the student council president’s perfect ponytail and slim hands is so much better than trying to focus on taking notes during algebra.

Even through lunch, she’s running their conversation over and over in her head, imagining what she might have said in response to Eli other than ‘uh-huh’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I’ll turn in all my missing work tomorrow, I promise’. With her head in the clouds, she follows Umi out to the tree in the courtyard that they usually sit under. Honoka absently accepts the juice box that Umi hands to her, automatically going through the motion of unwrapping the straw and stabbing it into the top. The whole time, Umi is watching her, making her a little self-conscious.

“Do I have something on my face, Umi?” Honoka asks. She wipes her mouth with the back of her sleeve after she takes a pull from the juicebox. Umi winces at this display of bad manners and sits back in her seat.

“No, just drink your juice,” she says, shaking her head as she unpacks her own lunch. “You look like you need it.”

“Aw, Umi, you _do_ care about me!” Honoka excitedly takes another sip from her juicebox. The taste of what she’s drinking fully hits her tongue and her reaction is one of disgust- the sparkles vanish from her eyes and she makes a face, sticking her tongue out at her friend. A proper look at the juicebox reveals the truth: it’s one of the staples in Otonokizaka’s vending machines, a national brand that is always in stock and always, always, always, absolutely the grossest fake-fruit flavored drink a girl could buy. “I take it back, how could you do this to me?! You know I hate the taste of weedkiller!”

“You had That Look on your face,” Umi says. “And don’t call it that, it’s not ‘weedkiller’, it’s medicinal and it’s not _ supposed _ to taste good.” As an example, she finishes her own juicebox without making any faces. 

“But I’m not lovesick,” Honoka protests. She isn’t...is she? She takes a deep breath in, listens intently to the sound of her exhalation. Her lungs sound the all-clear, like they have for the past two weeks. There’s no immediate pain, just the faintest twinge in her chest that usually comes from taking a deep breath. “I’m fine! You don’t need to worry about me.” 

“I think I do,” Umi replies after a pause. She scrunches her hands up in the hem of her skirt, looking away. Honoka bites her lip. This conversation is starting to go bad.

“You know,” she starts to say-

“I just don’t want you to hurt yourself again, so soon,” Umi blurts out. The blush on her cheeks doesn’t match the look on her face. “Kotori called me last night, she said she wanted to talk to you, but- !”

Ah. She brought up Kotori. Honoka is officially clocking out of this conversation, thanks. Umi is watching her again with that stupid look on her face, the same worried look that Eli had given her after she delivered her scolding. She’s starting to hate it. It feels like everyone is walking on rose thorns around her nowadays. Eating lunch with Umi had seemed like a good idea at the time, but then again, in recent days a lot of her good ideas ended up being bad ones. 

Honoka wants to feel mad that she’s so obvious when she’s thinking about girls, that Umi thinks she’s lovesick again so soon after the last time, but all the fierce anger drains away when she sees that Umi looks really upset. The hollow space in her chest prickles with irritation instead. 

“I don’t want to talk to Kotori right now,” she says, the 500th time she’s said. The words fall out of her mouth so easily. The juicebox in her hand is growing warm. 

“You can’t keep ignoring her,” Umi says a little desperately. She’s clearly biting back tears now, uncharacteristically upset. Her lunch box lies forgotten on the bench next to her. There’s a fly sitting on the top of the pickled plum.

“I’ll talk to her when I’m ready,” Honoka replies, looking down at her lap. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready to talk to Kotori again. She doesn’t even want to think about Kotori right now. The hollow space in her chest prickles with a feeling she doesn’t want to name. Her throat itches. 

“It’s been a month,” Umi says quietly. “She’s worried about you.”

_ If she was going to be so worried about me, then why did she leave? _

The silence between them is strangling, overgrown, vines wrapped in thorns. Everything Honoka wants to say to her friend has already been said in another place and time. What doesn’t Umi understand? She’s only been thinking about Eli for a few hours, not years. Not like it was with Kotori.

Things between them were easier when Honoka was coughing up flower petals. With just the two of them, they are out of sync. Kotori’s absence is just another empty space in the garden of Honoka’s heart. 

When it becomes clear that Honoka isn’t going to reply to her, Umi gets up. She puts her lunchbox back in its cloth container, throws her juicebox in the trash, and leaves. She doesn’t say anything to Honoka. 

Honoka wipes away the tears in her eyes and angrily sucks down the last of the juice from the hated juicebox Umi snuck her. It’s all warm liquid, now- falsely fruity, falsely sweet to hide its true taste.

“It’s bitter,” she mumbles. Her throat aches.


	2. groundcover i

Maybe she had been in love with Kotori for a while, and just hadn’t known what it was. 

It would explain why she always felt her throat close up whenever Kotori looked at her- and gosh Kotori looked at her a lot, huh, now that she was noticing these things- and how difficult it was to hold back her coughing in the classroom. There was only so much scolding from their teacher that she could take! She didn’t like standing out in the hallway by herself!

Love crept up on her like the ivy vines on the wall by the school gate. A general sort of breathlessness accompanied her through the week- catching her breath after practice, after Kotori smiled at her, after walking down the stairs to her house. She was always out of breath. 

Umi assumed she was coming down with a cold due to the weather and was sterner than usual when she told Honoka to be careful of overworking herself. Honoka was especially fervent in declaring that she was fine, Umi, thanks for asking, she’d drink lots of water and take vitamins and go to bed early just for her! The flustered look on Umi’s face was so cute! 

“I wish you would take this more seriously,” Umi sighed. “Your health is no laughing matter. If...if there’s anything wrong, you know...you can talk to me about it. I’ll listen. I promise I won’t yell, either.”

And Honoka bit back the silly reply she had readied, because it was rare for Umi to say something serious like that without turning into a blushing mess. It was on the tip of her tongue, too, she was just about to say, “There’s someone I like, and I think I’m lovesick,” but then the door to the rooftop opened and Kotori was brandishing a bakery bag in their direction with a triumphant smile on her face. Kotori’s cheeks were flushed pink from running, and every single thought just flew out of Honoka’s brain like a flock of birds taking wing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are probably a lot of small inconsistencies with the canon timeline and i'm uhhh sorry about that lol, chalk it up to the canon divergence i guess? this chapter is cut into two parts; i need to rewatch season one before i post the second part and then depending on what i forgot about the plot i might need to add a third part, so please bear with me while i fiddle with the chapter count...
> 
> anyways! thanks for reading this fic and please feel free to tell me what you like/don't like so far.


	3. groundcover ii

Maybe this was more serious than she thought, staring in dismay at the wad of wet flower petals she’d coughed up into a tissue. Her hands shook just a little bit as she balled it up and threw it in the trash. She washed her hands in hot water with plenty of soap.

“Honoka? Are you okay? You’ve been there for a while...”

“‘m fine!” she exclaimed, shutting off the water and drying her hands. “I’m done! The bathroom’s all yours!” Yukiho squinted at her as she left the bathroom. Honoka smiled at her sister and made sure to walk as calmly as possible to her room. 

As a rule, she never worried about her own health. She was hardy, as her mother once said, which really meant that she just rebounded from winter colds faster than her other family members. But this....

She wasn’t stupid. 

Posters in the doctor’s office, seen from an early age every time mom took her and Yukiho in for a checkup: cartoon lungs wrapped in rose vines, featureless grey children with flowers covering their mouths, colorful advertisements for new brands of ‘juice’ being sprinkled onto a bed of wilting daisies. The extremely mortifying and one-sided Talk that she’d gotten from the family doctor just before the first day of her first year in high school. Listening to another, less mortifying but still uncomfortable speech from the school nurse during orientation the very next day. 

She’d grown up knowing what lovesickness was, that it wasn’t anything to be ashamed about, and that if she needed help she could get it from her parents or a medical professional without being judged. But nothing really prepared her for the first-hand reality of it. 

It  _ hurt _ . Yesterday the petals had gotten stuck in her throat and she’d had to pull three handfuls of a soggy, bitter mess out of her mouth, choking on the leftover bits that coated her tongue. She made herself sick immediately afterwards. Petals and leaves and dinner vanished in a swirl down the drain. Taking deep breaths to calm herself hadn’t worked because her lungs caught on the blooms and started her coughing again. Honoka was never so grateful for Yukiho’s habit of listening to music with headphones and for her parents to be working late in the bakery, so none of them could hear her cry.

If she was coughing up petals, it meant she was in love. And even though Umi delighted in telling her she was a dummy about these matters...she knew exactly who she was in love with. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? It could have been any of the girls she had a crush on, like the cute student council president or the cashier at the grocery store, but it had to be Kotori. 

How could she  _ not _ love Kotori? There was so much- her dearest friend, someone who knew everything about her. She was soft all over, she gave great hugs, and her eyes were always sparkling with good humor and excitement, especially when she smiled at Umi or laughed with Honoka...

Honoka felt her throat twitch. She covered her mouth and coughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucked up the timeline SO badly, oh my god. what the heck. and the formatting, why can't i format things nicely, i'm so sorry.
> 
> anyways here's the second part of groundcover! third part should be out later this month! 
> 
> as usual, if you like this story please leave a kudos or a comment, i'd love to hear what you think about it.


	4. groundcover iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains a brief instance of vomiting, which i didn't describe in too much detail and is in the last few paragraphs of the chapter (it starts at "Honoka stood up and-") so you can skip over it if you want.

Her own stubborn nature is what got her in the end. 

‘Today I’ll tell Kotori that I love her,’ she said. She said this at the end of homeroom on Monday. She said this before her class changed for PE on Tuesday and she spent all of three minutes shyly (guiltily) sneaking glances at Kotori and Umi while they changed. She said this after reaching the top of the stairs on her way to school and having to rest for five minutes because she was coughing too hard to see straight and nearly passed out from the pain in her chest. She said this at the end of the week when she was tired and on the verge of crying solely because Kotori had fussed over her before practice with Umi and she’d pressed their foreheads together to check for a fever while asking if she was okay in that soft sweet concerned voice-

Honoka was, in fact, not okay. She was losing sleep to the endless bouts of coughing at night. It was getting harder to hide the petals and leaves that her body was churning out at an honestly frightening pace. Her parents looked at her with concern when she dozed off while manning the counter in the shop after school. She didn’t have much of an appetite, either, which was a shame because Dad had started making more of her favorites to try and cheer her up. 

If this was supposed to be the springtime of youth, she wanted a refund. 

The worst part was that this could be fixed, so easily, if she could just tell Kotori. If she could just say ‘I really, really like you’. It would be fine if Kotori didn’t return her feelings, because they could still be friends- actually no, that was a lie, it wouldn’t be completely fine: she would definitely cry if Kotori just thought of her as a good friend. She wanted to hold hands at school. She...she wanted to find out if Kotori’s lips felt as soft as they looked. She wanted to take Kotori to a dessert buffet and let her eat all the cheesecake she wanted!

Kotori was her best friend, and...even getting turned down wouldn’t change that. Honoka would be a good girl and get medical help for the flowers in her lungs, and then she could work on putting this behind her. She decided this would be her final answer after having to sit out for more than half of their last weekly practice, clutching her water bottle to her chest and trying very hard not to cough. 

Umi ended up abandoning practice to sit with Honoka on the roof and watch the clouds. She was grateful for the comfort of her friend sitting next to her. Honoka was thinking about telling Kotori now, even with Umi here, because there was no guarantee that they would have time for each other like this next week. 

Honoka looked over at Umi when Kotori was finishing her stretches. Umi nodded at her and reached over to give her arm a squeeze. She smiled, because that small reassurance from her friend really meant a lot to her. She grasped at the sprouts of courage in her heart. 

Honoka stood up and-

-her stomach roiled; she stumbled, tried to catch herself and her breath, suddenly and uncomfortably aware of how hot she felt all over, up and down her arms and face, 

Kotori was looking at her with wide eyes. What Honoka didn’t see while she was trying to catch her breath: the concerned frown Kotori shared with Umi, how Umi slipped her phone out of her back pocket and started texting. 

“Are you okay?” Kotori asked, even though it was obvious that Honoka wasn’t okay at all. 

“I-” Honoka started to answer, swallowing the saliva that flooded her mouth, still trying to identify how she was feeling. “I think?”

Kotori nodded encouragingly.

“IthinkI’mgonnathrowup,” Honoka said all in a rush.

  
Kotori took a step back. Umi caught her eye by waving her phone: mission success. And then everything started to happen so much, because Honoka made an absolutely awful face right before she folded over at the waist and threw up _all_. _over_._ the rooftop_. Kotori’s dismayed “oh!” of surprise was drowned out by the sound of Umi hurriedly rushing to the rooftop door and yelling “I’ll go get the nurse!” as she ran down the stairs, and Honoka throwing up _again_, but this time on Kotori’s shoes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays! 
> 
> this last part of groundcover fought me for a whole month so i gave up. it's rough and i don't like it very much but it is what it is. the chapter count changed because i didn't account for how long it would take to set up groundcover, oops. it might change again depending on how my outlining for the last few chapters goes. also i really fucked up the formatting these past couple chapters and i can't figure out what i'm doing wrong lmao
> 
> if anything seems too incoherent, or hard to follow, i'm really sorry and please feel free to ask me about it in the comments.


	5. centifolia

“I really- I like girls!”

Honoka made this declaration in the middle of dinner, after fifteen minutes spent carefully eating and very obviously thinking over something important. After all, she was fourteen, and fresh from her first day at Otonokizaka. Ami knew her oldest daughter took a little longer to think about things and get her thoughts in order, so for the start of dinner she had focused the conversation on her youngest. Yukiho was more than happy to be the center of attention and dutifully reported on her own first day of school, right up until her sister’s outburst. 

Seeing the stars in Honoka’s eyes after she made her declaration made Ami want to laugh. But she didn’t, even after she looked over at her husband for support and saw the nearly identical stars of joy in _ his _ eyes. She wouldn’t laugh! 

Judging from the blush on Honoka’s cheeks, her daughter hadn’t meant to blurt that out, and she’d also heard her little sister’s quickly stifled snicker of amusement. 

“Um….ehehe,” Honoka poked at her dinner some more before looking anxiously over at her mother. “It’s okay….right? If I like girls?” 

And wasn’t that a loaded question! 

Ami put her chopsticks down and turned to fully face her daughter. It was important that Honoka receive her full attention for this answer. Yukiho had also stopped eating and was watching with the same carefully interested look on her face that her sister wore. 

“Honoka.” 

“Yeah?”

“It’s okay.” Ami reached out and put a hand over her daughter’s, squeezing it gently. “I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us.” She looked over at Satoru, who was furiously nodding his agreement. “If you like girls, that’s completely fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Ami said firmly. She wanted her daughter to know that she meant it. There would be no room for miscommunication at her dinner table. 

“I mean...I'm pretty sure I like girls the way cousin Reina does,” Honoka admitted. She was gripping Ami’s hand rather tightly, now. Behind Honoka, Satoru and Yukiho were both politely pretending to be more interested in their food than they were in the conversation.

_ The way cousin Reina does _? What does she mean by- oh, wait, she must be talking about Reina and her long-time girlfriend, the two of whom were infamous in the family for their public displays of affection. Ami made a mental note to call her sister later and ask for Reina’s phone number. She knew when she was out of her depth. There was only so much she and Satoru could do for Honoka as her parents. It would be good for Honoka to have an older female figure in her life who would understand the way she felt about other girls. It was important for her to have someone she trusted that she could talk to about these things. 

“It’s okay,” Ami repeated. She squeezed her daughter’s hand again before letting go, and felt love bloom up in her chest at the relieved smile on Honoka’s face. 

“Okay,” Honoka sniffed. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Um, I did other stuff today at school, if you wanna hear about that, too…” 

Ami laughed.

“Of course I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was really hard to write for a number of reasons and i'm still not 100% happy with it, but at this point i just want to post something. i'll continue to edit it and if i manage to write a better version, i'll update this chapter. my usual apologies for the formatting failures (u.u);
> 
> i gave Honoka's parents names because they don't have any in canon (that i'm aware of). her mother is Ami and her father is Satoru. her cousin is a crossover character. let me have my fun.
> 
> finally, i hope you're all doing well + staying home (if you are able to). please consider leaving kudos and/or a comment on your way out~


	6. floribunda i

Miss Yamauchi was the closest teacher at hand. She listened to Umi’s slightly panicked explanation of what was happening and then sent her on her way to the nurse, promising that she would go take care of the situation on the roof. Umi dutifully left it to the teacher and walked as fast as she dared down the hallways, even though she wanted to run. 

The nurse was thankfully still at school. She, too, listened calmly as Umi explained what had happened. 

“It’ll be alright,” the nurse- Umi couldn’t remember her name- said firmly. She stood up from her desk and reached for a box of medical gloves. “Your friend isn’t the first case of lovesickness I’ve seen.” How was that supposed to be helpful? She hadn’t seen the way Honoka’s eyes went flat and the mess that came out of her mouth....Umi swallowed back her sympathetic desire to throw up.

Everything after that blurred together- the phone call to Honoka’s mom, watching Honoka limp into the infirmary with barf all over her practice outfit, helping Kotori change back into her uniform and then not knowing what to do when Satomi-sensei ended up carrying Honoka down to the parking lot because she was having trouble breathing and Kotori’s mom was the only adult left on campus who drove a car. Umi didn’t remember how she got home. Her text history showed that she had indeed remembered to text Yukiho again and let her know what was going on, and that she had called Kotori at some point in the evening but Kotori hadn’t answered. 

She must have gotten some sleep, because the next day she woke up at her desk with a crick in her neck and two missed calls from Yukiho. She panicked briefly once she realized she’d slept in and would be late for homeroom. Umi wondered if she should call Yukiho back, but she didn’t have time to. Her phone beeped a few times as she was rushing around. Someone was texting her but she was too busy to respond!! She flew out of her house with a hurried ‘see you later’ to her mother and her phone clutched in her hand. 

The day passed by in another blur. Everyone seemed to have heard about Honoka overnight. It was all their class wanted to talk about- the two absent girls and whatever had happened between them after school. She got a lot of sideways looks from her classmates, since she was by herself for once. It made her feel ill. 

After school ended for the day, she bought two juice boxes from the special vending machine and drank them both before going home. 

Walking home by herself felt wrong. She kept looking over her shoulder, waiting for Honoka to catch up to her or for Kotori to call her over to look at the new gacha machines outside the convenience store. Her phone blinked ‘new messages’ but she couldn’t bring herself to read them now. If it was bad news, she didn’t want other people to see her reactions. 

Umi’s mother was out in the practice hall when she got home, so she popped by to say “I’m back” before grabbing her after-school snack from the kitchen and not-quite rushing to her room. Normally she wouldn’t dare to eat in her room but this was an emergency and she’d already delayed her responses for a whole day. She didn’t have time to sit down and properly eat at the table.

Umi forced herself to take one bite of her snack before she opened her messages. 

The two missed calls from Yukiho were dismissed- she hadn’t left a voicemail. The other messages were texts from Yukiho and private LINE messages from Kotori. There was nothing from Honoka. Umi took a deep breath and opened Yukiho’s texts first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is growing like a weed (haha); every time i think i've got all the chapters planned out, three more pop up! 
> 
> thanks for your patience! this is a short chapter and i still kinda hate it but i hope you enjoy it. see you in another few months, take care of yourselves~
> 
> please consider leaving kudos on your way out, they really motivate me!


	7. floribunda ii

Homura Bakery was closed, but Yukiho let her in when she knocked on the front door. 

Umi allowed Yukiho to hug her for a moment before gently prying herself free and taking a good look at her best friend’s little sister. Yukiho looked like she’d barely slept. Her hair was gathered back in a sloppy ponytail and her eyes were red around the edges like she’d been crying. Umi opened her mouth to ask about Honoka-

“Mom said she’s gonna be fine,” Yukiho beat her to the punch. She tried to smile but it was a watery one. “She’s staying with Honoka at the hospital for now.” 

“Oh,” Umi said, at a loss for words. She sat down on the nearest chair. Her hands were trembling. “That’s a relief.”

“Yeah,” Yukiho agreed. She slid her phone open and looked down at her messages. “Mom says...she can have other visitors on Monday. Do you want to go with me?” 

“Yes,” Umi said immediately. She wanted to see Honoka and verify that she was okay. She wanted to ask her: what were you going to say to Kotori, that day on the roof? “Are you going to see her tonight?”

“No,” Yukiho shook her head. That tired look came back to her face. She leaned over the counter on her elbows, resting her chin in her hands. “Mom said she’s on one of those breathing machines. I don’t….I don’t want to see her like that.” It was quiet in the kitchen for a moment before Yukiho spoke up again. ”She’s so stupid! Why didn’t she tell Mom?” It sounded like she was going to cry.

Umi wished Kotori was here. Kotori would know how to comfort Yukiho. She didn’t consider herself good at being comforting and felt awkward again when Yukiho stood up and wiped her face on her sleeve. 

Now that she had an explanation, all of Honoka’s behavior from the past month made sense. Lovesickness had the same initial symptoms as the common cold. She’d just assumed that Honoka was being careless with her health like she usually was during this time of year. 

She felt like a bad friend.

She felt even worse when she remembered the LINE messages Kotori had sent her and realized: Honoka still didn’t know about Kotori’s pending transfer overseas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not super happy with this but also i'm tired of looking at it. i have to actually Plan and rough draft the next few chapters (and rewatch the LL anime) so don't expect to see me until the end of the year, maybe!
> 
> any questions? complaints about my inability to write an accurate timeline? please leave a comment or kudos <3
> 
> in the meantime, wash your hands and wear a mask when you go out, okay? unlike lovesickness, covid-19 is real!


End file.
